My family has nicknames.  Yeah yeah.  It's more than cutsey nicknames.  These are real.  These are the kind that stick.  They have permanence because it's true.  You can't quit a nickname when it is based on fact.  To this day, random people still call me "Shorty."  Not "Shorty" as in the slang term for a girl.  Shorty as in - "Hey you ain't five feet tall is ya!?  Awwww.  How cute!"  People that didn't know me in high school and who certainly don't know me well enough receive the death stare/stink eye when they call me "Shorty." 

Anyway, these were recently assigned to us by Bill, laugh if you must, but remember, they are true!

• Bill - Night Sweater** - And I don't mean "sweater" like something you wear when it finally cools down!  I mean "sweater" as in one who sweats.  Profusely.  In his sleep.  I think its kinda gross.  He sweats a lot at night.  Sometimes its so much that the sheets on his side of the bed are all rustled and wrinkled up.  It kinda grosses me out.  I don't like sweat.  And it's not just his sweat, I'm disgusted by my own too! You should see me trying to sort laundry.  It's all I can do to touch his socks.  Stewart's are starting to get gross too.  About a year ago, I decided that I couldn't handle his nasty soaked sweaty running clothes to be mingling with my pretty lady clothes.  So he has a separate stinky running clothes basket.  And he washes them himself.  I won't touch it. I didn't recite "in sickness and in sweat" when we got married.

• Me - Sleep Talker - Apparently I talk in my sleep.  I would love to say it's not true or that I wouldn't really know (since I am asleep when doing the talking) but I have woken myself up. Talking.  To people in my dreams.  I mumble and ramble the most when I am sick and/or have a fever.  Sometimes I just talk.  It seems like if I remember a specific dream, I was also talking during the dream.  This week I have woke him up twice asking him questions.  And when he responded, he woke me up.  He says I'm getting a lot better. He SAYS I used to mumble all night long.  It's kinda funny but for a light sleeper like Bill, I think it is probably really disruptive and very annoying.

• Stewart - Sleep Farter - I say it at least once a day:  Boys are gross!  At all ages, boys are gross.  And there is something about fart jokes and farting that is funny, no matter what your age.  And apparently, it's also funny when you are asleep.  Stewart farts a lot in his sleep and he always has a "HA!  I got you and I'm asleep" smirk plastered on his face.  I'd like to think that it is his little body trying to release the gas that he politely held in during the day - but that is so not true.  Thus my affirmation:  BOYS ARE SO GROSS!

• Parker - NAP CRAPPER - This little one is the most disruptive for me.  His body clock tells him that he needs to poop whenever its nap time.  It doesn't matter if naptime starts at 12:30, 1:00, 2:30, 4:30.  The dude will poop.  I swear he is doing it to try to get out of having to take a nap or to prolong the inevitable - for a while (I swear it's true) he was only doing it the afternoons that I wanted to try to rest while he was napping.  Lately, he does it all the time.  Today, yesterday, day before, day before that.  The boy is a nap crapper.

There is some saying about idle hands.  Honestly, I have no idea what that saying is.  I'm sure if I asked Bill, he would know.  He seems to know everything.  (I knew the honeymoon was over when he stopped acting like I was telling him something that he didn't know.)  Anyway, my idle hands need a hobby.  In the last month, I have painted 2 bathrooms and the kitchen/breakfast area, changed out 3 faucets, installed knobs and handles on a bathroom cabinet, and replaced all of the kitchen knobs (apparently our stupid drawer pulls are going to have to be special ordered because they are 5 inches, the standard appears to be 96mm/3in.)  I guess home remodeling is my current hobby, but it is getting a bit expensive. My classes are about to start, so I will have less time to have idle hands - but I think it is about time I took up a different hobby.  There are a lot of things that I enjoy doing but nothing that I would really call a hobby. 

I wish I could knit - I'd love to make scarves.  I'd make super cute ones and gift them to my friend who is perpetually cold.  It would be like a constant Tracey hug (since, after 17+ years, we are now friends that hug.)  Maybe I will give it another go.  The biggest problem with knitting is that it takes so damn long to see any progress.  I want immediate results for my efforts!  Yes, maybe next week I will try again.  I really like the idea of making a scarf for my friend.

I would also consider quilting .  Quilting, I know.  I'm not 75 - but my favoritest blanket is a quilt that my great grandmother made.  I salvaged it from my burned down and trashed out apartment.  I survived with a few burn holes - that's a sign right?!  It's a sign that I was meant to keep that blanket - and that perhaps I should consider quilting.  I will have to see how the knitting comes along.  My perpetually cold friend could also use a blankie - but dear God!  The time it would take a finish a blanket - I certainly would be 75 by then!

Scrapbooking is something that I have also found interesting.  i think it looks like a ton of fun.  But I haven't done it.  I want to do it - but I can see it snowballing into a very expensive and time consuming hobby.  One that would require more spare time than I have right now.  So that is definately being back burnered.  Perhaps I will take that up when I am 75 and I am too arthritic to knit and/or quilt.

But you know, maybe I don't have time for a hobby.  I have been reading a lot.  But I just feel this need to do something crafty and creative.  Let's see where this takes me, should be interesting. Hopefully I can give my perpetually cold friend a scarf or two for Christmas/her birthday!

He never ceases to amaze me.  The kid just does things that I swear other kids his age don't do.  His newest trick - he loves the water.  I took him and Stewart to the community pool for an afternoon.  I barely had time to get in the pool before Parker flung himself into the water.  Even though he was wearing floaties, he still went underwater for a few seconds.  He surfaced, holding his breath, ready to do it again.  He did this for 2 hours.  Jumping in with his floaties on, without his floaties.  He would swim to mommy, swim away from mommy.  I have never seen a kid take to water like he did.  He watched Stewart swim underwater, and Parker would put his head down and try to replicate Stewart's movements.  Bill seems to think that Parker will be the athelete of the two.  According to my mom, I took to water just like Parker is, and I am sooo not an athelete.  I am as far from an athelete as you could get, without being a shut in. 

He has no fear.  Parker is definitely going to be the one that we have problems with. He is the most stubborn, has the most attitude, is the most demanding (about freaking EVERYTHING!)  But while he is only two years old, I will enjoy the sweet little moments like these, knowing that one day I may just want to wring his cute little neck.

. . . Mommy redecorates.  Bill was in India again last week.  Only for a week, but it was long enough for me to knock out two projects that have been on our home improvement list.  I fancied up the guest bathroom upstairs.  i got a really pretty shower curtain from target, and I painted the walls, installed knobs and drawer pulls on the cabinet (that is never used, but still, it looks really nice now!) and installed two new faucets.  That's right, Miss Chick Lit reading, Sephora and Kate Spade loving girlie girl installed two new faucets.  I am/was very proud of myself.  (I think Bill got tired of hearing me talk myself up because he said, installing a new faucet is like sticking a plug in an outlet.  Turd much?  I think so.)  I won't go on and on about the faucets - but they look amazing.  I would post pictures but the bathroom doesn't get the best natural light and everytime I try to take pictures, they don't come out well.  Did I tell you about the pretty faucets!?  Lol - they look great, they work, and they don't leak.  The bathroom is officially too nice for the boys - hopefully it will get them out of my bathroom.  I can't tell you how tired I am of going to use the facilities, only to find that the seat is covered in little boy pee.  Or getting into the shower and stepping on toys.  They are officially evicted from my bathroom.  Bill better clean up his act or I will kick him out too.

I also did the half bathroom on the main level of the house.  It was a small enough space that I painted it in 2 hours.  And that included me sitting on the floor meticulously painting around all of the fittings etc behind the pedestal sink and the toilet.  I've never really looked behind the pedestal sink - but I think thats mainly because when I'm in there, conducting my "business" i'm facing away from the sink.  Men might have wandering eyes as they conduct their standing "business."  Anyway - it's painted a very beautiful color that perfectly matches the 3 pictures that I bought specifically for that bathroom (prior to moving in I might add.)  Still feeling really great about my upstairs faucet acheivements, I went to install the new faucet in this bathroom and I can't even get in there to loosen up the existing faucet.  Before you start offering up advice, yes I bought the weird basin wrench thing that professionals use to loosen up those bolts.  Yes, it is designed to fit around all of the pipes etc.  NO i can't get in there do to it because the basin wrench thing won't fit up there and my hands (MY TINY hands) are too big to wedge in there with a wrench (crescent, socket, etc) and loosen it up.

So i'm frustrated.  I wanted to be able to do those two bathrooms on my own.  But I'm stuck because in the upstairs bathroom, I couldn't edge the wall because there are places where I couldn't get a ladder (over the vanity, toilet, or in the shower) so Bill is going to have to finish that painting.  And my beautiful faucet that I wanted to install in the half bath, I can't do that either.  I was blessed with a dad who taught me how to use tools.  In fact, I can install electrical outlets, dimmer switches, etc because one summer my dad and I spent some time wiring a house they were building at the lake.  It may seem like small potatoes to you, but for anyone that knows me - that knows just how much I love Sephora, all cosmetics really, Hello Kitty, fancy overpriced handbags, shoes, frilly girlie dresses, and SEPHORA - it will come as a shock to you.  Yes, I am handy.  Sometimes I think I am handier than Bill.  (Next time you see him, ask him about our experience hanging ceiling fans.  I believe, it was another instance of Handy Tracey to the rescue.  it could have just been that I had the sense to get the instructions out of the box and read them. . . )  He could just be letting me think that so I do work around the house, leaving him to fund my projects and do the heavy lifting. 

The boys have been begging us for a dog.  They have been asking for a very long time and we keep saying things like, "It's not the right time" or "We need to get a fence first."  But last weekend, Bill and I decided that it is as good a time as ever.  I'm against pet store doggies (as sad as it is to see them behind the glass) and I'm against breeders because it's sooo hard to tell who is a decent breeder and who runs a puppy mill.  Lucky for us, there is a really great no-kill animal adoption center about 3 miles from our house.  As soon as we decided, I started checking their webpage and looking at the available doggies.  I saw a couple that looked like they might have potential so we stopped by the center last Wednesday.

The doggie I wanted to see the most was "misadvertised" on their webpage.  When we came in to meet him, our adoption coordinator wouldn't even let us see him because apparently the owner that gave him up said he growled at a child while he was eating.  This is also the owner that kept him on a chain all day - not exactly what I would call a credible source.  So anyway, she wouldn't let us see him.  She brought out this long rat looking dog that was part beagle part corgi.  I have a personal thing against corgi's and I couldn't make myself like her.  Plus, she didn't seem interested in the boys.  So we went back to their doggie area and we picked out two more to visit with.

As soon as he came in, he was happy and excited and he was immediately interested in playing with the boys.  He was a yellow lab mix, he had a lot of energy and since he is only 6 months old, he hadn't really had a chance to pick up bad habits yet and was still able to be trained to be the dog we would need him to be.  (Going into this, I knew I was going to do most of the training and I was fine with that.)  We played with him for 30 minutes and we had so much fun.  We saw the third dog for about 15 minutes - she was a super cute little squatty body brindle Boston Terrier.  She was the cutest thing I've ever seen- full of energy and snorts and joy but she wasn't interested in the boys.  She was more interested in playing with her toys.  So we met with dog #2 again and we all fell in love with him.

The coordinator and I agreed that I would go home, talk it over with Bill, and give her a call in the morning.  I did and Bill was just as excited as the rest of us, and I called her up and said we wanted to move forward.  Before we could finalize, we had to make five visits with him.  She said they were required because Parker is so young and she wanted to make sure it was a good fit.  We went in that day for our second visit and we played with him for another 30 minutes.  Parker required some coaching - be gentle, don't pull his tail, don't grab his feet, etc - and the little doggie got a little bit anxious when parker came around.  I wasn't too shocked by this - they are both young.  Parker has never been around a dog before and the dog was just exhibiting puppy behavior.  I really didn't think it was a big deal and the coordinator didn't express any concern about it either.  Before we left, we agreed to come back the next day for our third visit.  By this time, everyone was super excited.  Stewart kept asking me when we would get to bring him home, Parker started crawling around and acting like a puppy, Bill said he was excited and couldn't wait to meet him (he was going for the weekend visits.)  We priced out an invisible fence, and the boys and I picked up some treats to take on our next visit.  Bill and I both spent some time talking to Parker and getting him to understand how to be gentle with the dog.  

At our third visit, our coordinator wasn't there.  So a different coordinator came in and brought the dog out to us for the visit.  We gave him the treats and played with him.  I thought the visit went very well.  I was very excited and I was disappointed that our coordinator wasn't there to be with us for the visit.  Parker was so good.  He was gentle and he didn't hit or pull or tug.  He gave him very gentle hugs and his face lit up when they played.  We scheduled a time to come in the next day (Saturday) with Bill.  After we left the adoption center, the boys and I went to the petstore and looked at the things that we were going to need to get for him (leash, collar, crate, big pad for the crate, water/food bowls, dog food, etc.)  We picked out some more special treats to bring on our next visit.

"When does he get to come home?  Can you show me on the calendar?  Lets count the days."  It was all Stewart could talk about.  We discussed how we had to have 5 visits and I showed him our visits on the calendar and that I thought he would get to live with us the following weekend.  He just kept saying, "I can't wait for him to come live with us!"

And when my phone rang at 4:30, I thought she was calling to discuss our visit.  And she didn't say anything about it and she didn't really give me a chance to say anything because she started in on her "I don't think you are ready" speech.  She talked a lot about Parker being young and how he did typical little boy things and that he didn't understand how to treat a dog because he is so young.  blah blah blah.  In the end she said she didn't think it was the right time for us to get a dog.  She said she was afraid that Parker would get bit, and from one of the visits, she could tell that Stewart is very protective of his little brother and she was afraid that they would both end up being afraid of dogs.  blah blah blah.  She said I was welcome to bring the boys in from time to time and look at the available dogs but she didn't think we would be ready for a year or two.

She was able to glean all of this about me and my family from 2-30 minute sessions. 

Bullshit.

Being me, I didn't argue or push the issue.  I just respected her opinion and hung up the phone.  And then I immediately started to get mad.  Not only did I think her analysis of me and my kids was total crap, her concerns should have been addressed immediately.  As in, we walk in and inquire about adopting a dog and she should have came right out and discussed dogs and young children.  It shouldn't have waited until AFTER the third visit!  Stewart and Parker fell in love with the dog and they bonded.  It was just so mean of her to let it get that far - and then for her to say we aren't ready.  It would have been different if she said that she didn't think he was the right dog for us.  She said we weren't ready and that we should come back.

I dreaded having to tell Stewart and I was going to make Bill do it because I just couldn't handle breaking his heart - but he walked into the room where I was and I told him.  He started crying which made me cry.  He is so disappointed and broken hearted.  When I told him I was sorry that I had to disappoint him, through his tears and sobs he said, "I'm not disappointed.   It just makes my heart hurt.  I wanted him to be in our family."  I tried to explain it to him in a way that he would understand and not resent his little brother.  I didn't want to see him blaming Parker because it wasn't his fault.  Stewart cried for 20 minutes.  It was hard for both of us.

Bill and I both thought about calling her.  He wanted to try to convince her and I wanted to confront her about why she waited so long to break our hearts.  But in the end, I think we are going to look elsewhere.  A friend from high school breeds (only once a year) her English Bulldog - and we have wanted an English Bulldog for a very long time.  So we may try to get one of hers when she has a little next spring.  (See Vann Bulldogs http://www.wix.com/vannbulldog/puppy)  I'm also checking craigslist and I've looked at a few other local shelters but this really left a bad taste in my mouth.  Last night, I explained to Stewart that we don't want to get a "rebound" doggie.  We still want a dog but we need to wait and find the right one for us.

So here is the little doggie that was almost a Bondurant.  We affectionately named him BOOMER! (All caps, followed by the exclamation point) and we are the best home he never had.  She will not find a better, more loving home for him and that makes me sad for the doggie.

We went to another bookstore today.  I got more books.  No chick lit - but I did buy 2 Jen Lancaster books for Holly.  I'm trying to branch out a little bit - delve into different genres.  We'll see how long that lasts.  The last time I tried to branch out, I got 2 paragraphs into the Hobbit and I archived it on my Nook.  I will never read it.  

"Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" and "Sarah's Key" were both a little out of my book reading comfort zone - and they both ended up being really great.  "Hotel" is probably one of my favorite books.  Ever.  Now that I think about it, "The Doctor's Wife" was a bit out of my comfort zone too and I loved it as well.  There are so many good books out there!  How am I supposed to find and read them!?

Here I am again.  Up late.  12:30am is a little late for me to sit down and start a new blog.  It always takes me a long time to write it and read it, and edit it, and add to it.  But I always go through the day thinking, "Oh!  I should blog about x!" and then I forget.  But I'm here.  We are having a great summer - I'm trying really hard to find things for us to do, to make sure Stewart reads books and does workbook pages, to try to find a few minutes in each day to spend with each of my little boys, alone.  Even though I know the kids are loving this summer and really enjoying getting to be home with Mommy I still feel unfulfilled.  Like I need more mental stimulation or something.  A challenge?  Something that requires more brain power.  So I'll be glad when the fall semester starts.  I almost feel like I'm not doing anything all day - which sounds totally ridiculous but I guess I'm still trying to adjust to life not working. 

I stay up late and I get up early with the kids.  I wish I could be sleeping right now but this is my time.  This is the only time of the day that I get to myself.  I can sit here and Facebook, play a game, read a book - and I don't feel guilty.  I can sit here and get lost in whatever book I'm reading because it's 12:00am - I don't need to be cooking for the kids, prepping our dinner, doing laundry, change a diaper or guide a little boy to his potty.  I can just sit here.  I could sit here and stare at the wall if I wanted to - there isn't anything else demanding my attention.  I didn't realize how much I missed sitting at a desk doing things on my own schedule - and not spending a day planning everything around the demands of a 2 year old and a 7 year old.  I'm sure I am no different from any other stay at home mom, but I can't even go to the bathroom alone.  One of them is always following me into the bathroom, the shower, upstairs, downstairs, outside, inside.  Every where I go.  Sometimes I just want a minute. 

Sooooo, I've been spending a lot of late nights sitting on the couch reading a book or mindlessly navigating through my favorite websites.  It seems that I have read a lot of books.  16 in 2 months.  This is probably where this post is going to get random and wander so maybe I'll just start bullet points here.  :)

• The Charles Town library is pathetic.  I keep saying that, yet I keep finding older books to check out.  They just don't have a lot of newer books, books on the bestseller lists.  So as much as I love my Nook - I'm trying to buy hard copies of books so I can donate them to the library when I finish reading them.  It seems like a good idea - but only if there are other people in this little country town that enjoy reading the same books I do!
• Reading quite a bit of chick lit (Jennifer Weiner, Emily Giffin, et al), I have picked up on one major theme of relationships in chick lit:  All men cheat.  Good men, bad men, young men, old men, single men, married men, employed men, unemployed men, doctors, lawyers, accountants, men with children - According to modern chick lit - all men cheat.  I think it's kinda sad.  Is this a generalization that these authors write about because it sells books, makes for a good story, because it is relatable, or because they believe it?  Shit.  Who am I to criticize?  Half of the books I've read this summer are chick lit involving these men.
  
• I've said it before, but once I discover an author that I enjoy, I gather up everything that they have published and I binge read it all.  For example, Jen Lancaster.  She is probably the only writer-crush I have ever had and I've read my fair share of books.  She's awesome.  If I wrote books, I would want to write a book like hers.  I think, if we were to meet, we could be friends because we are so much alike.  (If you've read any of her books, you know that she thinks that if celebrities meet her, they will love her.  I think if she meets me, she will love me.  haha)  She has 5 books out and I have read them all, falling completely in love with each one within the first 5 pages.  Her last book, "My Fair Lazy", I actually read with a bright pink highlighter in my hand.  I highlighted things that made me laugh out loud, things she quoted or referenced that I just love - and I even made a few remarks in the margins.  I don't even do that with a textbook.  Anyway, I've been reading a lot of books that I have purposefully ignored like Emily Giffin and Jennifer Weiner and I am enjoying all of them. 
  
• "The Doctor's Wife" by Elizabeth Brundage was a welcome respite from mindless chick lit. Such a great story, I don't even know where to begin.  I can't wait to start her other book, "Somebody Else's Daughter."  I have some books checked out from the library right now and I need to read those first.  I feel really guilty if I ask the library to pull and hold a book for me and then return it without reading it.  So despite all of the great books that I stocked up on last week - I need to read my 2 library books first.