1.  It is really hard to remember specific events and details that happened 6 years and 3 months ago. 

2.  SAVE a copy of everything.  Even something as little as a hand written note on a bill saying that you are refusing to pay the co-pay because of X.  Save a copy of it.  It may be important 6 years later.

3.  You can't talk unless you are asked a question and even then you may get cut off from completing your answer.

4.  I thought I NEEDED Bill to sit in that room so he could smile at me when I needed strength.  I found extra strength by fiddling with my wedding ring.  I am stronger than i thought.  it took a minute, and I had to get angry and irritated but i found my inner strength.  

5.  One day I will be able to tell my kids that it is important to not let people take advantage of you.  If you feel like you have been wronged, you have to tell someone.  Even if you think it will sound ridiculous, or if you doubt that someone will believe you - have faith in yourself. 

6.  Somewhere there is closure in having to see him sit there and face me.  He is having to FINALLY answer for the things he has done, and I can find peace in knowing that (hopefully) he won't have the opportunity to do the same or worse to other women.

7.  I am not going to censor my blog.  I'm not going to let him him invade another aspect of my life.  This is my blog.  It's my page and I can say whatever i want here - that's why it is www.traceybondurant.com NOT www.ibetterwatchwhatisaybecauseascumbagmighttrytouseittodiscreditme.com.  I don't do anything illegal, I am a good person.  I don't fill my page with malicious hateful thoughts.  I am writing this wondering if they are reading it, trying to pick out words to take out of context to depict me as a dr hating sexist.  But i don't care.  That's not who I am and anyone that has ever spent 5 seconds with me knows that.

8.   It's weird but in all of this I am reminded how much I love my husband.  He is a good person and I know he loves me.  He sat in the courthouse, outside of the room on a bench for 2.5 hours.  I know he could have spent it at work - he's busy.  But he chose to come and support me.  And when the defense asked me if I had ever described him as a "trained killer" it was very comical.  Those aren't my words - that's why I put them in quotations.  He is a good man that loves his wife and his two boys and he works hard to provide for us.  And if it's possible, i love him just a tad more for giving me a bottle of Silver Patron tequila last night.  He knew I'd been stressing about it and he knew how much I didn't want to do it.

9.  I smile a lot.  I can't help it.  However, i was so stressed out Friday morning that few smiles crept across my lips.  My co-workers asked me if I was sick or if everything was ok.  I was queiet and non-smiling.  In fact, I was so distracted by what I had to do, I didn't even turn on iTunes.  (It's the first thing I do everyday when I plug in this macbook at work.)

10. This explains why my page got over 400 page loads in one day.