Friday's are awesome.  I love them.  I'm excited to do laundry this weekend because our new dryer got delivered.  I love the weather right now.  Parker is being extra cute and attentive but the whole weekend has to start with something really crappy that I have to do and now i don't want to do it.

Six years ago, when we lived in Columbus, OH i had a bad and very uncomfortable appointment with a dr.  So I wrote it up and I reported him.  Immediately after, people came out, took my official statement but i didn't really hear anything else about it until last November.  Well, it's all finally coming to a head and I have been officially subpoenaed.  They are flying out here and I give my deposition in the court house at 2:00pm tomorrow.  This is just an administrative case to determine if he should have his license to practice revoked and if "further action should be taken against him." 

At first, i was led to believe that it would be easy breezy.  I was going to give my testimony in Charles Town and they were going to videotape it.  I didn't think I would have to see the Dr again.  I also didn't think I was going to have to recount the event in gross detail.

REALITY:  He's coming, with his defense and they are bringing his exam table.  Apparently I am going to have to get up on it because they want to prove that he couldn't have done what i said he did.  And keep in mind, it's not just my word against his word.  He has three other women waiting to testify against him when the trial starts on Monday in Columbus.  When i read the citation sent to Dr. Lane, I had a hard time determining which was me - WE ALL SAID THE EXACT SAME THING.  I'm kinda freaking out.  It's really stressing me out which is making me very itchy - damn skin. (I WANT NEW SKIN!)  I have never talked about it outloud.  And I have never ever talked about it outloud in detail.  I have a history of writing things down - it's how i confront people (poor Bill) so the idea of me having to actually say all of this outloud is freaking me out.  He's going to be sitting there, looking at me, while I sit up there telling everyone that he is a pervert.  I wish Bill could sit there out of sight and hold my hand but I think I'm going to have to settle for him just sitting somewhere in the courtroom  Its open to the public, so I guess anyone can attend but I would freak out even more if I had to do all of this in front of a room full of strangers.

So I have to do this and I really really don't want to now but I don't want to be the person that lets people walk all over her - but I need to do this so that one day my kids will understand that they need to stand up for themselves.  Even though I'm certain I will never discuss this with them. 

I am a very glass half-full person but I think this might actually be worse and more uncomfortable than I could ever imagine.